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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23565943">The Things They Carrried</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GofyTomcat1/pseuds/GofyTomcat1'>GofyTomcat1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:14:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,411</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23565943</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GofyTomcat1/pseuds/GofyTomcat1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A description of Stardust Squad, Jyn Erso's unit post Scarif (because we know they survived), and the things they carried into battle. </p><p>Inspired by and written in the same style as the short story "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Things They Carrried</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>The Things They Carried<br/></strong>(Inspired by the short story of the same name by Tim O’Brien)</p><p>Lieutenant Callum Draxus, Rebel Alliance, formerly designated ARC-8685, always carried a holo-image of the squad he had served beside during the Clone Wars. It was not carried merely out of sentiment; instead, ARC-8685 carried it as a reminder of the Republic he once served, the Republic he one day hoped to restore. On shuttle flights from world to world, the old veteran Clone would clean his blaster rifle, polish the remains of his haggard, battle scarred armor, consume his rations, and activate the holo-emitter with a solemn expression. He would remember old battles and relive victories long past, battles that he and his brothers fought in the name of the GAR. His weary eyes would sweep from the hologram to his armor and back again, remembering his past. After a few moments, he would shut the hologram off, re-secure it in his pack, and return his thoughts once more to the mission at hand.</p><p>***<br/>The things they carried were largely determined by necessity.<br/><br/>Most of them carried their weapons on their person at all times, which generally consisted of a primary blaster rifle and some variety of sidearm. Additionally, most of the squad equipped themselves with some variety of close combat weapons: vibro-blades or stun batons or various improvised blades they could mount beneath their blaster’s muzzles to act as bayonets. The specific arms they carried into combat depended heavily on the mission parameters and the expected opposition, but each member had one or two that he or she preferred. For instance, Alik Waska, the Rodian intelligence operative, preferred a small, lightweight A-180 blaster pistol which was easily concealed amidst the rest of her other garb, while Callum and Captain Katarn, who led from the front lines and were thus more inclined to see battle, carried heavier military-grade blaster rifles that could burn through Stormtrooper armor with ease.</p><p>Besides their weapons, the squad carried other equipment that Rebel Command considered necessities: com-links, power packs, rations packs and field canteens, glow rods, med-packs, healing stims, personal shields (for those like Waska and Cassian Andor, who were most likely to find themselves behind Imperial lines), thermal detonators and utility tools, sewing kits, lighters, ID tags and personal respirators. Together, these items composed the team’s basic kit, weighing on average between 6 and 8 kilograms. There were, of course, exceptions: Callum, who had retained much of his Old Republic gear, still carried the majority of his Clone Wars armor and equipment, while Jyn and Cassian preferred to operate light and thus carried little extra equipment save their blaster, ammunition, melee weapon (if carried), and perhaps their field pack if deemed essential. Waska, their intelligence contact, carried a pair of electrobinoculars and a large data pad, upon which she could make observations of enemy troop movements, while Jan Ors carried a large tool kit, full of hydrospanners and other equipment for repairing vehicles and devices.</p><p>By virtue of a combination of protocol, experience, and necessity, each member of the squad carried a standard-issue helmet provided to them by the Alliance (with the exception of Callum, who preferred the protection and comfort provided by his Clone helmet). The helmets were about five kilograms in weight, and each contained an advanced heads-up display (HUD) and interface that had been programmed by Commander Ors. They carried standard Alliance field dress: jackets and trousers and utility vests. They wore Alliance issue boots (except for Callum, who preferred his armor) upon their feet and some, particularly Captain Andor, carried field parkas for cold or adverse environments.</p><p>They carried other items as well, items that extended beyond standard operations yet were still, for some reason or another, considered necessary. Until his death, Odeon Jindal had always carried a flask of Festian ale, which he had consumed whenever the squad found a respite from the horrors of the fighting. Commander Callum carried a pair of old trophies from a long-forgotten battle in his field pack, presumably relics of some distant battlefield of the Clone Wars. Cassian carried a backup memory chip for the K-X series security droid, K2SO-1, that often accompanied the team on missions. Alik Waska tended to carry a holo-novel, to distract her from the horrors of war, and a large data-slate for writing the stories she loved to compose during her off-duty hours. Jyn, who commanded the second fire team, always carried a heavy stun baton lifted from an Imperial scout. Due to her experience on Scarif, however, she also refused to go into action without her mother’s Kyber Crystal, wearing it around her neck on a cord like a necklace so that the Force could always protect her.</p><p>Because the team operated far from other Rebel assets, each member of the team carried a code cylinder, similar to and yet very different from those used by the Imperials, to allow them to decode their operational objectives. Because they might be forced to advance through withering hails of blaster bolts, each member of the team carried personal shield generators and improvised field armor, crafted from Imperial Stormtrooper equipment and Jan Ors’ own personal ingenuity. Because they might land in wet or cold environments, each member of the team carried a rain poncho, which could be used to shield them from the elements or provide cover from passing Imperial patrols.</p><p>They were Stardust Squad, the spiritual successors to Rogue One. And like Rogue One, they improvised out of necessity.<br/>***<br/>The things they carried were partially a function of rank, and partially based on improvisation and role specialization.</p><p>As squad commander, Kyle Katarn carried a data-slate full of mission objectives, his Bryar pistol (instead of the DH-17 usually carried by the Rebel Alliance), stolen Imperial security clearances, and the lives of his entire squad.<br/><br/>As Rebel Intelligence operatives, Captain Cassian Andor and Lieutenant Commander Alik Waska each carried duffel bags full of arms, explosives, codebreaking gear and encryption equipment. Waska carried a portable coms terminal, (around ten kilograms), which she and Buc Dusqar could use to describe enemy troop movements and relay coordinates back to the rest of the operation. Andor carried his modified A-280CFE sniper rifle and associated ammunition for eliminating exposed enemy officers or pinning down key Imperial positions.</p><p>As the team’s pilot and mechanic, Jan Ors carried her tool kit, a data-slate full of notes about both Rebel and Imperial technology, a pouch full of credits for purchasing additional components, and a satchel containing both an Alliance pilot’s uniform and the uniform stolen from a TIE pilot just prior to the mission to Danuta. Ordinarily, she would wear the uniform she required into the mission, but she had, upon occasion, needed to carry the bag with her to complete certain requirements.</p><p>As the leader of Stardust Squad’s regular troops, Callum carried what he had for countless years: his armor, kama and pauldrons (with any Republic insignia long since removed and replaced with the Starbird insignia of the Alliance to Restore the Republic), his pair of DC-17 blaster pistols, a bandolier of extra power packs, and the will to lead an army into battle once more. His armor was battered and worn from almost twenty years of constant war, but it had held together well enough. He had, over the course of the years, gradually supplanted much of his original equipment with modified armor from Imperial Stormtroopers, reshaping the plastoid plates to better match his original gear. Yet in spite of his additions and modifications, his body armor, pistols, and ammunition weighed just over thirty kilos.</p><p>Because they operated behind enemy lines, Stardust Squad’s primary weapon alternated between the Alliance’s standard A-280 blaster rifle and the Empire’s E-11. The former weighed 6.7 kilos, the latter closer to 2.7. The E-11 could fire close to 500 rounds before its Tibanna gas cartridge required a reload, and each of its charge packs contained close to 100 rounds. The A280 was similar, with the same standard charge packs, but with a gas cartridge capacity of closer to 300 rounds (due to the weapon’s higher power.) Depending on their availability, most members of the squad carried anywhere from 5-10 gas canisters and 5-10 charge packs for their primary weapons. All in all, a trooper’s primary, cleaning gear, and ammunition would come to close to 10 kilograms of weight.</p><p>There were, of course, exceptions to that standard. Lieutenant Odeon Jindal, of the second fire team, had carried additional ammunition, almost double that of a standard trooper, and it had been under that burden of equipment that he had perished during a routine patrol on Antoat. He had been cut down by Stormtroopers upon leaving the base camp, and under the weight of his ammunition and gear he had died, crushed beneath the mass of everything he bore with him. He fell as though bound to a solid pillar of durasteel, suddenly, plummeting to the ground in a single motion, and that had been that.</p><p>Jyn had wanted to attempt to retrieve him, but Cassian had stopped her. There was no time. The Imperials were already upon them, and to attempt a rescue would be far too costly. And so, without hesitation and at his own insistence, the squad had stripped Jindal of his useful equipment: his spare arms and munitions and rations and all that sort of thing, and abandoned him to the Empire, leaving him with naught but his blaster and half of those extra charge packs as the Imperials closed in.<br/><br/>Jyn blamed herself for Jindal’s death. She took it especially hard, and it had taken everything Cassian had within himself to pull her away from her subordinate’s injured body. She had wanted to save him. She had wanted to get everyone home. But the war had denied her that chance, and she could only watch in horror as the Stormtroopers found Jindal and he died a hero’s death, overcome by adversity, sacrificed willingly in the name of the greater Rebellion. After that, Stardust Squad had swept through and burned the Imperial base on Antoat to its foundations, leaving only a handful of prisoners (the ones who had willingly dropped their weapons and surrendered), scores of frightened civilian technicians, and a burning Imperial refinery complex in their wake.</p><p>In addition to their primary blaster, most of Stardust Squad opted to carry some form of sidearm. Cassian used his A280CFE as a pistol, Alik Waska preferred her A180, and Callum carried his pair of DC-17s. Kyle Katarn used his modified Bryar pistol as his secondary weapon. Most of these sidearms weighed around 1.5 kilos.</p><p>In addition to their standard weapons—the A280, the E-11, and their sidearms—they carried whatever presented itself, or whatever seemed appropriate as a means of killing or staying alive. Their loadouts were subject to the requirements of the mission. At various times, in various situations, they carried E-11s and Imperial repeaters and DL-44s and repurposed DC-15s and DC-17s and Stouker concussion rifles and slug-throwers and bayonets and explosive breaching charges. Kyle Katarn carried his father’s lightsaber, though he had not yet revealed himself to the Empire as a Jedi. Alik Waska carried a pair of concealed vibroblades stowed alongside her com equipment. Jyn Erso carried a modified stun baton. Every third or fourth man carried a sequencer charge—1.6 kilos with its firing device. They all carried thermal detonators—.4 kilos each. They all carried at least one smoke grenade—.7 kilos. Some carried CS or tear gas grenades. Some carried white phosphorus grenades. They carried all they could bear, and then some, including a silent awe for the terrible power of the things they carried.</p><p>***</p><p>The things they carried varied depending on objective.<br/><br/>If the mission carried them to a cold-weather world, they carried additional cold weather gear, fire starting equipment, and thermal blankets. If the mission was deep behind enemy lines, they wore Imperial disguises, carrying code cylinders and blasters more appropriate to their covert objectives. They carried gear that would help them complete their mission, whatever the cost might be.<br/><br/>During night operations, they carried a variety of non-standard gear. Katarn wore a set of infrared goggles and a powerful field light. Jyn Erso carried her Kyber Crystal, and a holo-image of her parents that she said was reassuring to her. Callum carried a heavily modified DC-15A he had used during the Clone Wars. Before he was killed, Odeon Jindal had carried a symbolic carving from his homeworld, a small totem that he always said would give him good fortune. All of them carried memories: names of fallen comrades or friends or family members, reminders of old missions, scars from wounds that had never fully healed. When darkness fell, the squad would ready all those things, load them into their field packs, and set out on their way, fully aware of everything they brought with them.</p><p>Other missions were more complicated and required special equipment. In mid-April, before Jindal’s unfortunate demise, it was their duty to seek out and destroy an Imperial position just north of the capital of Antoat. To assault the facility, they each carried heavy sequencer charges, powerful explosives that had been designed to crack even the stoutest of enemy bunker complexes. The charges were heavy, almost thirty kilos, and it took each member of the squad a great deal of effort to lug the explosives up the side of the cliffs, set them in place, and program the detonation codes. They carried the charges, detonators, and wiring. Every member of Stardust Squad, including most of the regular troopers, bore at least some of the detonation gear.  It was common practice to search the bunkers before detonating them, and because there were eighteen men and women in the squad, including Odeon Jindal, it was also common practice to play games of dejerik or roll games with chance-cubes to decide which trooper would enter the tunnels first. Only Jyn, Cassian, Commander Ors, and Captain Katarn, being the senior commanders, were considered exempt from these games of chance, though Jyn and Cassian often volunteered themselves first, so that some of their younger or less experienced troopers might be spared at least some of the ardor of the difficult task.<br/><br/>***<br/>On the day Rigtar Mons lost an intense game of dejerik to Alik Waska and volunteered himself for the duty of “womp rat”, he laughed and muttered something and went down quickly. The morning was hot and very still. He looked at the tunnel opening, then out across a dry paddy toward the main Imperial facility that bordered the village of Tushar. There was no movement in the stagnate air. Their locators and rangefinders detected no trace of clouds or birds or people, friend or foe alike. As they waited, the men ate and drank and smoked, not talking much, feeling sympathy for their comrade but also thanking the Force that they did not have to share in his misfortune. You win some, you lose some, said Waska’s comrade Dusqar, sometimes the Force was with you and sometimes you become one with it instead. It was a tired line and no one laughed. Certainly, Cassian and Jyn did not appreciate his line, for it reminded them too much of their fallen comrade Chirrut Imwe.<br/><br/>Commander Katarn sat with Jan Ors, going over additional battle plans. Callum and his ARC troopers polished their armor, and sat together, reminiscing about the Clone Wars and battles long since passed. Odeon Jindal was the only one absent from the rest of the company, as he stood watch a few meters away.</p><p>After five minutes ticked by on her chrono, Jyn moved to the tunnel, leaned down, and examined the darkness. Trouble, she thought—a cave-in maybe. And then suddenly, without willing it, she found herself thinking about Cassian, about the cave they had shared together on Scarif. The stresses and fractures, the quick collapse, the two of them buried alive under all that weight. Broken, wounded, frightened… but together. Kneeling, watching the hole, Jyn tried to concentrate on Rigtar Mons and the war, all the dangers, but the thoughts of Cassian were too much for her. She let her mind drift back to Scarif, to Cassian, how he had held her, how he had cradled her in his arms and protected her from the Empire. All at once, she felt an uncontrollable urge for him to hold her like that again.<br/><br/> She wanted to know more about Cassian. Intimate secrets: What role had he played in his homeworld’s resistance, fighting since he was six years old? Why that grayness in his dark brown eyes? Why so was he so alone? Not lonely, just alone— disappearing to the firing range late at night or sitting off by himself in the frigate’s mess hall—even on most missions, he still tended to operate alone, (unless she insisted she come with him)—and it was the that aloneness that filled her with the desire to truly know him. She remembered telling him that one evening. How he nodded and looked away. And how, later, when she had kissed him, he received the kiss without returning it, his eyes wide open, not afraid, just flat and uninvolved.<br/><br/>Had Cassian Andor ever truly known love? Jyn wondered.</p><p>She gazed at the tunnel. But even as her eyes fixed themselves upon it, she was not there. She was buried with Cassian under the ruins of the Scarif archive. They were pressed together, and he was holding her broken, wounded body in his arms and whispering reassurances to her. He was smiling. Vaguely, Jyn was aware of how quiet the day was, the gazes of her squad around her, yet she could not bring herself to worry about matters of security. She was beyond that. She was just a girl at war, a girl who longed for the man beside her, a girl who longed for peace. She was twenty-three years old. He was twenty-seven.</p><p>A few moments later, Rigtar Mons crawled out of the tunnel. He came up grinning, filthy but alive. Jyn nodded and closed her eyes while the others clapped their companion on the back and made jokes about rising from the dead.</p><p>He had a heart of kyber, Waska and Dusqar joked. No other way anyone could have made it out of that kriffing hellhole. Callum told him he would have made a good Clone trooper. Even stony-faced Kyle Katarn cracked a smile as the mud-covered Mons paused to take his drink and eat his rations</p><p>The men laughed. They all felt great relief.</p><p>“The next Captain Andor,” Jyn joked. Cassian managed a smile at this remark.</p><p>Rigtar Mons made a funny ghost sound, a kind of moaning, yet very happy, and right then, when he made that high happy moaning sound, when he went <em>Ahhooooo,</em> right then Odeon Jindal was shot in the head by an unseen Imperial soldier. He lay with his mouth open. The wound had been cauterized by the blaster bolt, so there was very little blood. Another shot followed the first in rapid succession, and soon after Jindal lay broken and defeated in the mud, his body blasted through by several unnoticed Stormtrooper rifles.<br/><br/>***<br/>The things they carried were determined to some extent by superstition.<br/><br/> Jyn carried her kyber crystal. Alik Waska carried a holo-novel (sometimes more than one, she loved to read almost as much as she loved to fight the Empire), which she usually read to calm her nerves just before action. Commander Callum carried the hand of a B-X Commando droid he had defeated during the Clone Wars, which he occasionally reactivated out of jest. When that happened, and power was applied, the droid fingers would twitch and spasm usually drawing some sort of amused reaction from any member of the squad who wasn’t part of senior command or wearing Clone armor.</p><p> And then, of course, there was the monthly broadcast over the squad’s communications channel that Waska and Dusqar would perform for the squad, which filled their thoughts with positive reinforcement and reinvigorated their morale. The broadcast always began the exact same way:</p><p><em>“Good evening Stardust Squad, I’m Buc Dusqar,”</em> the Mon Calamari officer would begin, in his usual cheerful tone.<br/><br/><em>“And I’m Alik Waska,”</em> the Rodian girl would reply, waving to the gathered crowd of listeners who tuned themselves into the live broadcast.<br/><br/>After her introduction, Dusqar would finish the opening. <em>“And welcome back to “Age of Rebellion,</em>” he would say into the com, his voice filled with a dramatic flourish.</p><p>At these familiar words, the listeners would forget the struggles of battle and the horrors of war and simply watch as the two recounted Alliance victories from across the galaxy. They would speak of the strategic implications of the battle, the heroics of those involved and the role of ordinary people who were doing their part to defeat the Empire and restore peace to the troubled galaxy. And as they spoke, Stardust Squad would feel its morale and discipline soar. They would feel the horrors of battle melt away into the background, and their troubled thoughts would be replaced with messages of courage, determination and hope.</p><p>They carried data-slates and writing styluses and sheets of hard-copy, if nothing else was available. They carried message decoders, safety pins, trip flares, signal flares, spools of wire, razor blades, chewing tobacco, stashes of hidden spice and carved models of X-Wings and A-Wings and Mon Cal crusisers, candles, grease pencils, the Alliance flag, fingernail clippers, SpecForce leaflets and recordings of <em>Age of Rebellion, </em>civilian clothing, Old Republic relics and much more.<br/><br/> Occasionally, when the resupply transports came in, they carried hot rations and flagons full of various sorts of liquor. They carried water containers, each with a 2-gallon capacity. Commander Callum carried his former Jedi General’s robes, memories of a time long past. Buc Dusqar carried holo-simulators and additional bacta. Captain Katarn carried an additional portable shield generator that could be activated at night for added protection.  </p><p>Some things they carried in common. Taking turns, they carried the portable coms array, which weighed 20 kilos with its power supply. They shared the weight of memory. They took up what others could no longer bear. Often, they carried each other, the wounded or weak.</p><p>They carried infections. They carried dejerik sets, chance-cubes, universal translators, insignia of rank, Stars of Alderaan and conduct ribbons, and other awards that had come at far too high a price. Sometimes, they carried diseases and infections they had never seen before. They carried the land itself—from Fest and Talay to Antoat and Anteevy, all of it, they carried gravity. They moved like dewbacks, sauntering across the darkness.</p><p> By daylight they took blaster fire, at night they were mortared and struck by TIE fighters. Sometimes it was battle, but for every battle there were two skirmishes, and for every skirmish there were five inconclusive engagements. They moved from world to world and system to system, striking where they could, denying the Empire at every turn. They carried their own destiny; they were alone, hardly ever supported by other Alliance assets, fighting for themselves, their comrades, and a galaxy that hardly knew of their survival.</p><p>They carried their own lives. They carried each other’s lives. Above it all, though, they carried the weight of a galaxy at war.</p><p>***</p><p>After Odeon Jindal was killed, Jyn Erso led Stardust Squad into the heart of the Imperial occupied village. She ordered Tarkin’s quarter against anyone wearing Imperial insignia, and they burned the military complex to the foundations. They gunned down Stormtroopers and Army troopers without offering the opportunity to surrender, they detonated hangars full of TIE Fighters and AT-STs and sent rubble flying into the streets. They did their best to avoid civilians, but they could not save them all. Jyn watched helpless women and children trapped in the crossfire and tried not to cry. Mercy was meaningless, and they hardly discriminated between non-combatants and armed soldiers. Technicians, engineers, factory workers and administrators, if they wore the symbol of the Empire, they were summarily sentenced to die. Only the ranking officers were spared, perhaps to be imprisoned or interrogated or executed by other units. After they had finished, they burned the base, leaving only ashes behind. </p><p>Most of the men did not regret their actions. The Imperials were the enemy, and they were a cruel and uncompromising occupation. They had not actively targeted innocent civilians. Many, like Waska and Dusqar and Cassian, had actively done their best to evacuate innocent civilians from the line of fire, while others had spared those who posed no immediate threat. And yet, in spite of their efforts at restraint, atrocities were still committed. Troopers were gunned down after they had surrendered, or before they could even reach their weapons. Debris had showered on innocent homes, which had been carefully interspersed between the military buildings of the complex. Civilians had been killed, mistaken for armed troops or cut down in the moment’s madness. In spite of their best efforts, the entire village burned.</p><p>As Jyn Erso dug in for the night, she felt shame. She hated himself. She had allowed thoughts of Cassian to interfere with her thoughts on the present mission, and as a consequence a member of her unit was now dead. Now, his death, and the deaths of those slain in the attack, were her burden to carry.</p><p>All she could do was dig. She used her entrenching tool like an ax, slashing, feeling both love and hate, and then later, when it was full dark, she sat at the bottom of her foxhole and wept. She wept for her fallen, for the atrocities Stardust Squad had just committed, and most of all, for her love of Cassian Andor.</p><p>***<br/>Some of the things they carried were not visible to the eye.</p><p>They carried grief and pain and terror and fear. Most carried guilt: for comrades they could not save, missions they could not complete, words they had left unsaid. They bore these things mostly in silence, unwilling to speak of them, unwilling to let their guard down for even a moment, even in the presence of their comrades. They carried moments of panic, moments when even their training could not preserve them from the terrors the Empire unleashed upon them. It was in these moments when they squealed or wanted to squeal but couldn’t, when they twitched and made moaning sounds and covered their heads and flopped around on the earth and fired their weapons blindly and cringed and sobbed and begged for the noise to stop and went wild and granted Tarkin’s Quarter to any Imperial son-of-a-bitch that dared to step in front of them.</p><p>After this, after the blasters stopped firing and the world stopped spinning, Stardust Squad would recollect themselves. They would nurse their wounds and attend to their wounded and solemnly bury their fallen. They would com their companions in other squads and speak of their missions, with voices filled with both excitement and fear and thrill and terror all intermingled at once, and they would do so hastily, as if by speaking to one another they could somehow shield themselves from the horrors they had just endured. These were the times when Waska and Dusqar would record another broadcast of <em>Age of Rebellion</em> or offer a commentary over one of the Alliance’s many holo-vids. These were the times when Cassian would remind himself that he did all of this for the Rebellion, the times when Jyn would huddle close to him clutching her kyber crystal and try not to let the darkness overcome her.<br/><br/>They carried these feelings, their fears and doubts and anxieties across the stars wherever they went. They carried memories, of fallen comrades and old victories and loved ones on distant worlds. They carried thoughts of Fest and Sulon and Alderaan and Lah’mu, memories of Scarif and Jedha and Edau and Danuta. And all these things they carried inside themselves, only sharing them with those they bonded with the closest.<br/><br/>It was standard protocol for each member of Stardust Squad to partner up with one another, in order to maximize operational efficiency and battlefield flexibility. Individuals with separate sorts of skills would be teamed up in order to provide their fire teams a wider variety of skills and weapons at their disposal. Ordinarily, the teams were supposed to be assigned at random. However, most members of the squad despised this, preferring to work with one or two select members of their own choosing.</p><p>Jan Ors and Kyle Katarn had always served side-by-side, and their abilities complemented each other perfectly. With his knowledge of Imperial fortifications and procedures, Kyle would slip through enemy lines and complete his mission, while Jan would help to extract him and call in the rest of the squad if necessary.<br/><br/>Alik Waska and Buc Dusqar worked well together, and they did their best to get assigned to the same missions. According to squad lore, the <em>Age of Rebellion</em> holo-cast reportedly began one night in the trenches, when the pair of them bonded over their shared love for the Alliance cause and decided to tell others about it.<br/><br/>  Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor refused to take solo missions with anyone else unless no other option was available. After all, Jyn maintained ever since Scarif that her faith in the Force had carried him with her. Cassian maintained this too, though he didn’t necessarily believe in the Force part.</p><p>Commander Callum had no real friends among Stardust Squad, due to his unique position as a Clone. However, due to his service in the Clone Wars, he quickly found himself bonding with the regular troopers of the unit. True, they were not Puma and Digger and his other brothers among the squad, but they were still brothers in arms, comrades on the battlefield. Though they could not replace his brothers, or lift the burden the ex-ARC Trooper carried in his heart, he nevertheless carried on with the same determination and respect for them that he shared with his fellow Clones.</p><p>And so, they carried not only their own burdens, but the burdens of their compatriots. But more than that, they carried the burdens of their predecessors. They were Stardust Squad. Successors of Rogue One, allies of Rogue Squadron. They carried their predecessor’s legacy. Aboard their shuttle, they carried empty seats and empty weapons, memorials to those who fell on Scarif and on Jedha, on Edau and in orbit above the shield gate. They carried the names of those who came before them: Imwe, Malbus, Rook, Raddus, Merrick. They carried the memories of their sacrifice across the stars, bringing hope to the fallen and the broken and the oppressed.<br/><br/>And in spite of their struggles, they carried hope.</p><p>***<br/>After a few moments, Cassian Andor approached Jyn Erso, huddled in the darkness of her makeshift shelter. Rain had begun to fall, masking her tears, but Cassian could sense her pain hidden beneath the mask of composure and professionalism. Slowly, he approached her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and asking her what was wrong.</p><p>“Nothing,” Jyn said.<br/><br/>Cassian shook his head, sighing. “Trust goes both ways, Jyn. I know something is on your mind. You can tell me.”</p><p>She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she said.</p><p>"Hm?" Cassian asked, tilting his head.</p><p>She sighed heavily. "Why did we live, Cassian? Why did we live when the others… didn’t? " She shuddered in Cassian’s arms, unable to speak the names of her comrades. Tears almost burst from her eyes, and she cried out in sudden agony as she imagined herself on Scarif once again.<br/><br/>Cassian inhaled deeply and placed a hand on her shoulder.</p><p>"They did their duty, Jyn. They gave their lives so that the Alliance might live, and we should be proud that we served beside them. They are in a better place now, a place where they’ll no longer have to do… any of this anymore." He gestured to the squad.<br/><br/>Jyn nodded silently. “I suppose they are. But I still can’t help but blame myself for what happened to them on Scarif. I see them, in my dreams, in my thoughts. I let them die, and…”<br/><br/>She broke off suddenly, and sobbed.</p><p>“We can’t always choose when and where we start caring about something,” Cassian interrupted, repeating the words he had said to her on Edau. “But we can choose what we decide to do with the causes we stand for and how we give back to the people we care for.”<br/><br/>The Force let us live, Jyn. The others may not have been given that chance, but we do. It's what they would've wanted for us. We might not be Rogue One anymore, but we still represent them. And I guarantee you, it will make them happier the more we commit ourselves to the things they stood for and the burdens they carried with them."</p><p>Jyn nodded. “I… I needed to hear that. But that still doesn’t mean I’m able to command like you or Captain Katarn. I don’t know the first thing about military strategies or leading men to their deaths. I’m not a good commander, and you know it.”</p><p>He shook his head and embraced her tightly. “You’re <em>my</em> commander, and I’m with you all the way.”<br/><br/>***<br/>Some of the things carried by Stardust Squad were better left unsaid.</p><p>They carried their past, and their present, and their future all bundled up inside themselves. They carried hopes and fears and ambitions and dreams all bound behind shields of composure and determination and self-discipline, and, for the most part, they refused to lower those shields even amongst themselves. Yet there were sometimes, during holo-vid viewings or games of dejerik or weapons drills, when they lowered that guard and allowed themselves to be vulnerable, if only for the slightest moment.<br/><br/>They carried secrets inside. Secrets that few others knew about, secrets shared around the fire after a long patrol or whispered among tent-mates during a thunderstorm. Ordinarily, they did their best to keep those secrets to themselves, expressing them only in time of need. When they did, they did so in very different ways.</p><p>Alik Waska kept a journal, where she secretly voiced her regrets about the war. Callum used his Clone Wars data-slate, still filled with old mission briefs and objectives and battle reports, to write new ones and soften the impact of the things he saw and the battles he fought. Jyn Erso prayed to the Kyber Crystal entwined around her neck, whispering the names of her fallen comrades when others weren’t around to hear. By and large, though, they didn’t share these inner secrets among each other. Better to carry those darkest thoughts to their grave than to let the whole squad know about the time they pissed themselves during a firefight.<br/><br/>They carried their hatred for the Empire.<br/><br/>They carried memories of massacres and genocides and horrors unspoken that unified them around the common cause of freedom. They carried thoughts of vengeance and hatred and bloody murder deep within their minds, only surfacing in the heat of combat or when they could bear the strain of battle no longer. All of them had different reasons for these feelings.<br/><br/>Jyn Erso had lost both of her parents to the Empire, and had nearly died to the Death Star alongside Cassian Andor. Jan Ors’ entire life had been shattered, along with her homeworld, when Alderaan was destroyed. Kyle Katarn carried memories of Imperial service, coupled with the sting of bitter failure. Countless other stories ran through the ranks of Stardust Squad, but all of them spoke of the hatred of the Empire and a desire to better the galaxy through the destruction of its institution.</p><p>They imagined the end of the war and the restoration of the Republic. They imagined returning to homes and families and loved ones across the galaxy, of endless embraces and countless reunions and words they desperately longed to say. On the clearest nights, they would look up into the stars and gaze off towards Rodia or Mon Calamari or Fest or Sulon, wondering how much of their old lives remained and how much the Empire had taken from them.</p><p> They longed for peace, and they carried that longing with them, even as they found themselves adrift in a sea of endless war.</p><p>***<br/>On the morning after Odeon Jindal died, Commander Jyn Erso crouched at the bottom of her foxhole and removed her Kyber Crystal from around her neck. Slowly, she recited the names of those who had called themselves Rogue One, over and over, reliving the memories of Edau and Scarif and the battles since. She did not speak their names aloud. She only thought them, and she forced herself to breathe as she attempted to block them from her mind. Yet even as she did, she found herself facing an inescapable truth.</p><p>Jindal and others were now dead because of her.</p><p>Besides, the memories were in her head already. She could see Rogue One, fighting along the beaches of Scarif, taking chance after chance until all were spent. She could see herself climbing the spire above the archives and feel Cassian telling her that her father would be proud.</p><p>When the fire died out, Jyn Erso pulled her poncho over her shoulders and ate breakfast from a can.</p><p>There was no great mystery, she decided.</p><p>Chirrut Imwe had told her on Jedha that the strongest stars had hearts of kyber. At the time, Jyn had dismissed his words, but now, as she sat beside Cassian staring out towards Stardust Squad’s emplacements, she understood his meaning. She was the star that would guide her squad to victory. Her heart of kyber was her own resolve, not just in the Force, but in those around her. Her mother had said that the Force flowed through all living things, and she could see that now: in Cassian, in the forest, in the eyes of the sentries and the movements of her men.<br/><br/>They were part of the Force. The Force was part of them. And, if her mother and Chirrut’s words were true, she too was one with the Force.<br/><br/>The morning came up wet and blurry. Everything seemed part of everything else, the fog and Rogue One and the deepening rain.</p><p>She was a soldier now, after all.</p><p>Half smiling at him, Jyn Erso took out her data-slate, checking her objectives. He shook his head hard, as if to clear it, then bent forward and began planning the day’s march. In ten minutes, or maybe twenty, he would rouse the men and they would pack up and head west, where the maps showed the country to be green and inviting. They would do what they had always done. The rain might add some weight, but otherwise it would be one more day layered upon all the other days.</p><p>She was realistic about it. Chirrut and Baze and the others were gone. They had done their duty. Now, it was up to Jyn and the rest of Stardust Squad to do theirs.</p><p>“No more dwelling on Scarif,” she told herself. Rogue One was the past. Stardust Squad was the present.</p><p>Henceforth, when she thought about Chirrut and Baze and Bodhi and the others, it would be only to think that they were at peace, that they were one with the Force and the Force was with them. She would let those memories subside away. This was not Scarif, it was another world, where hope was just as distant a thing and the odds were just as impossible, a place where men died because of carelessness and gross stupidity. Cassian was right. The Empire was a ruthless enemy. They would not hesitate, and they would not hold back.</p><p>Briefly, in the rain, she thought she saw Rogue One gazing back at her. He understood. It was very sad, he thought. The things soldiers carried within them. The things men did or felt they had to do. She wanted to run towards the visions, to speak to Chirrut as she had on Scarif, but she restrained herself.</p><p>Instead, she turned her attention back to Cassian and the others. She was now determined to perform her duties firmly and without negligence. It wouldn’t help Jindal or the others who had fallen in the attack, she knew that, but from this point on she would trust in the Force to guide her, as her mother and Chirrut had told her to do. She would ask Cassian to help her, just as she would ask Waska and Dusqar and Jan and Kyle and the rest of her unit. She would spend less time dwelling alone with her kyber crystal and more time with the men, with the unit Senator Mothma and General Cracken had provided her. She would not squander this second chance given to her by the Force.</p><p>On the march, she would compose herself as an officer. Her time as a frightened partisan girl was done. Now, in her place, would stand Commander Erso, a soldier and a leader, no longer afraid of her past, no longer forced to dwell amidst the shadows of the Empire’s will.</p><p>She would be careful to guard Stardust Squad’s flanks and rear, to prevent straggling or bunching up, to keep her forces moving and using cover and fighting as a cohesive force. She would use Katarn’s expertise of Imperial drill to help teach the younger recruits field discipline. The men’s stashes of spice and alcohol would be restricted, saved only in times of victory or absolute necessity. She would reshape the legacy of Stardust Squad. They would still be composed of the same sorts of men that had comprised Rogue One, but she would conduct them differently, like an Alliance strike team instead of a disparate band of rogues and renegades.</p><p> Later in the day, perhaps, she would call the men together and speak to them plainly. She would accept the blame for what had happened to Jindal and those who had fallen during her reckless assault on the Imperial garrison. She would speak to them as their leader, as their commanding officer, not as some frightened girl still cowering in a cave. She would look them in the eyes, keeping her chin level, and she would issue her new orders in a calm, impersonal tone of voice, a lieutenant’s voice, leaving no room for argument or discussion. Commencing immediately, she’d tell them that they would learn to be proper Alliance soldiers, together, whatever it took. She would give them another chance, like the Force had given to her, and she would urge them not to spend it idly. She’d keep most of the things that bound the squad together; Waska’s holo-novels and <em>Age of Rebellion</em> and the dejerik games and the friendly banter over the coms, but she would contrast that with staunch-hearted discipline and procedure if and when the mission required it. She would not back down. She would find a way to find herself as a soldier, just as she and Rogue One had found her way to the Death Star plans all those years ago.</p><p>Among the men there would be grumbling, of course, and maybe worse, because their days would seem longer and their loads heavier, but Commander Jyn Erso accepted this fact with solemn determination. She was an Alliance soldier now, not a mercenary or a criminal, just as Stardust Squad was now an Alliance unit and not a ragtag band of desperate renegades. Yet even as they bore Rogue One’s legacy and carried their battle honors, Stardust Squad was not Rogue One. Her friends had done their part, and they had forged a path for her new friends to follow. The war on Scarif no longer mattered. Neither did Jedha, neither did Eadu, neither did her past ties to the Empire or her life as a criminal. Those things were the past now. She might still turn to her Kyber Crystal for advice from time to time, but she would do so after consulting with Katarn and Ors and Waska and her other officers. And if her men wondered why she did this, what they carried that meant so much to her, she would tell them the truth of it, plain and simple:</p><p>They carried hope. Rebellions were built on hope.</p>
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